(Note: The following blog is a work by samlei72 of another blog site. I thought it is nice to share it here by a simple act of acknowledgement.)
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
Why – in there crazy language – can your nose run and your feet smell?
Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:
If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.
But fingers don’t fing and grocers don’t groce.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
If the teacher taught, why isn’t it also true that the preacher praught?
If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?
English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can’t turn a light in;
In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.
In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.
English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?
Popularity: 1% [?]
Can we continue the theme and start posting jokes to this blogthread?
unless we could be original, we would be flirting with copy right violation, or plagiarism, absent consent from the original author.
Blame the Norman French for some of the confusion. Cows have four legs and eat grass while beef sits on a plate. Swine can squeal while pork cannot. The WHO says you can get the flu from swine since that could get the sniffles but pork chop hasn’t a nose, so you are safe. We should prefer “pig flu” but the WHO decided on H1N1 instead.
I think the Author of the Web Blog article is the one Crazy. He
sees caziness in everything except himself…
“filipino” english is also confusing. take the case of “salvage” which means collecting refused material or in a sense “saving” something. strangely, in local crime stories “salvage” is often used to mean “summarily executed” which is of course quite the opposite.
there’s also “sanction” as in “The government sanctioned (formally approved) the program.” I sometimes come across sentences like this: “The government sanctioned the corrupt official.” I’m not sure but I think this is wrong in a grammatical sense. Although, it is also possible the writer really meant to say that “the government approved of the corrupt official.”
English evolves in different, sometimes weird ways in every place it is adopted. Japan is famous for its grammatically atrocious “Engrish”, and Singlish in Singapore incorporates a heavy dose of the expression “lah” incorporated with broken subject verb agreement.
Technically, there is no right version of English anyway. American English, while colloquial in the internet, is incorrectly spelled and pronounced as far as the original owners of the language — the British — are concerned.
your right. languages evolve. however, i think until a novel use for a particular word has been “officially” accepted such usage should still be considered erroneous, shouldn’t it?
Again, the question becomes: Who decides?
the experts of course. i guess it would be safe to accept that if an already established word is being used in a new way and the resulting definition of it is not yet included in any of the authoritative dictionaries then that new usage should be treated as erroneous. just a thought.
Who are these experts? Linguists?
The dynamism of language simply leaves these “experts” with a lot of paperwork gathering dust.
linguists? perhaps. gathering dust? don’t know about that.
Primer,
Can you please post the complete address of his blog? And hopefully a complete URL of his blog post?
yes, please link the source. ty.
Bravo, Primer! Just when I thought you’d hit rock bottom, you pull out a jackhammer.
er…im on the right site, right?
At least I know that in any part of the United Kingdom, much more so in London, when you see a huge placard, poster or what in front of a building with the words – “TO LET” – it is the equivalent of what we have here – “FOR RENT” or “FOR
(if I may just continue)
LEASE”. Of course, the accent alone is ‘territorial’, too.
when in London, speak English like a brit
when in Nu Yawk, speak English like a Yank
When south of the Dixie line, speak English with a drawl
when on a Philippine commentary site
speak English with the accent of islands Filifins
for awhile crocodile :lol:
*in .. whatever :)
You can speak like a Cuban — broken English and all — in one of the auditoriums of New York University and they will listen to you. You can even bypass the English and speak in Spanish and translators will be provided. But only if you have established credibility and you have something worthwhile listening to.
to bongV: Primer’s cut-and-paste blogpost above is of an English more readable and better-written than most of his other blogposts.
That’s because the content was written by samlei – it is actually a collection of snippets the sort of stuff where he says.. “where’s the timber”… or in indiolish “yun ba ang kinahoy mo” .. :lol:
it is a compilation of snippets – compiled by samlei from elsewhere , posted on philippinebeats.com, ready by primer, and reposted on FV -
nu-oh ya’ll.
It is the idio(t)syncrasies of the English language that make it such fun to play with.
Joe
Any language for that matter, Joe, is dynamic – it is alive!
The dictionary alone keeps on growing with more new words added each and every time and consistent with the great intellectual traditions of old, we can only choose between two schools of thought – the simple-English speakers or the high-falluting ones, take your pick?
But certainly, ‘technical language’ such as those used in the Navy, by engineers, lawyers, doctors do not necessarily form part of mainstream. In fact, they should be considered ‘dialects’, if you follow my drift.
Primer:
it’s not a “dialect”, it’s called “JARGON”.
Nope, two different things.
The relationship of a cathedral and a chapel, would be more like it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jargon
Jargon is terminology which has been especially defined in relationship to a specific activity, profession, or group. In other words, the term covers the language used by people who work in a particular area or who have a common interest. Much like slang it develops as a kind of short-hand, to quickly express ideas that are frequently discussed between members of a group. In many cases a standard term may be given a more precise or unique usage among practitioners of a field. In many cases this may cause a barrier to communication with those not familiar with the language of the field. As an example, the words RAM, Hard Disk Drive, CPU, and Graphics Card are jargon as they are related to computers.
***
jargon
* the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group
* obscure and often pretentious language marked by circumlocutions and long words
— jar·gony
***
jargon
jar⋅gon
1 /ˈdʒɑrgən, -gɒn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [jahr-guhn, -gon] Show IPA
–noun
1. the language, esp. the vocabulary, peculiar to a particular trade, profession, or group: medical jargon.
2. unintelligible or meaningless talk or writing; gibberish.
3. any talk or writing that one does not understand.
4. pidgin.
5. language that is characterized by uncommon or pretentious vocabulary and convoluted syntax and is often vague in meaning.
***
Oh for the love of… This is so 1997. At least that’s how long this ‘original’ by samlei72 has been circulating via email and usenet. And who knows how long it’s been circulating before that. Primer doesnt even check Google before posting something as the work of some anonymous blogger.
Does FV allow just anything to be posted on the front page? I suggest an Inanities tab.
When ‘guests’ behave like ‘owners’ of the place, what future do we still see? This escapes comprehension.
So what’s the whole point jeg on circulating anything nice – past, present, future – be it by the original author or an anonymous blogger – provided however, it’s been acknowledged?
Call to mind how some blogs in FV carry not a single text or word but a mere photo? Call to mind how some blogs in FV were a mere ‘introductory statement’ to a main material they wish to post?
What kind of sickness is this? I don’t mean no offense.
Primer,
Don’t get your briefs in a bunch, good friend Primer. Some people get high by knocking others down.
I personally enjoyed the reading, even though I guessed it came elsewhere. To some, attorneys and the like, picking the nits is more important than the fun.
Joe
“came elsewhere”? is that the way americans speak nowadays?
The following blog is a work by samlei72 of another blog site.
No it isnt. Google is your friend. Nick gives you a lot of leeway, but you must take responsibility for the facts you present.
I don’t mean no offense.
If this were from, say, Rom or MB, or practically every other contributor here, I’d say they wrote that on purpose as some kind of zinger. But since it’s Primer…
Then consider that were on purpose or some kind of zinger. For what about being Primer’s? Sorry, I don’t get it.
And what do you mean by Nick gave me a lot of leeway? Shouldn’t I be the first to know if that be true?
I post that as something nice, maybe funny even and I want to join the fun should any fun comes out of it but lo and behold, the authenticists are barging in without having questioned the vicious cycles of copy-paste that has become the vogue here.
Are you crying wolf for “originality in works”? Then, we all take heed, if that suits your grip.
hable en english la todo?bkit b preocupayd tayo sa salita ng mga puti na dehins goli? pag englisero k totyal pag salitang netibo iswater ka dong. kaya sa masyado tayo fixated s salita ni obama call center agents lang ang trabaho natin o kaya domestic helper s abrud baby.tayo lang ang bansa na masyado istrikto s grammar kaya damo bagsak sa bar exams je je. tama na cguro to , hasta la bista baby!
Here it is jeg:
The post or thread is entitled, “Let’s face it – English is a crazy language”, written by samlei72, on 5-26-09, at 8:58 p.m., on PhilippineBeat.com
If we go by Google, we are led to this – samlei72.vox.com but nowhere in it can we find the article.
Are we saying samlei72 is not the original?
I will respond to this one:
Are we saying samlei72 is not the original?
Yes we are.
As for the rest, a response is not merited. And that suits my…grip…just fine. Carry on.
I do believe that Richard Lederer is the original author. This is a part of the introduction in his book Crazy English.
http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-English-Richard-Lederer/dp/0671023233
http://www.verbivore.com/arc_ceng.htm
Thank you so much Neela Gidhar – that should end the whole fuss of making a mount of a mole hill.
Jeg could have offered it offhand had he play ‘collective’. But then he says – whatever suits his grip. He he.
At least Joe can offer more comforting wisdom that is never normally seen in ordinary mortals.
to primer: Is it Cebuano-English this “… to make a mount of a mole hill” ? It is not UP-Diliman English nor Ateneo/Katipunan English.
I know it should ‘make a mountain out of a small hill’ – UP or Ateneo but then I was just playing time with crazy English language and besides, is it anywhere near nonsense again?
Guys and gals…
If I may be allowed a pinch of levity…
Good writers, and effective speakersr are ‘Cunning Linguists’. Wink.
Nag typo pa, hehehe…
Good writers, and effective speakers, are Cunning Linguists.
that’s not levity. that’s prurient.
Wow, the esteemed legal agila ruleth!
Has even your sense of humor deserted you Tata Ben? :)
this blog post reminds me of a story told by a friend of mine from way back. it seems he graduated from elementary in the province and trying to be innovative, the principal invited a local “wise guy” – a sort of barbershop pilosopong tasio – to be the graduation speaker. after telling the graduating class, in tagalog, to try their best and study hard, he blurted out in english, “who knows me tomorrow law”. expert analysis later determines that what he really meant to say was ” who knows, someday i might become a lawyer”.
“local “wise guy”
I prefer a imported one: Atty. Benjamin Cardinez.
do you really want to start with me, gagelonia? i was telling a story and there’s no reason for you to be personal. you were the one who first blew my cover in this blog without my prior consent. i let it go but if i sustain damages because of what you did, i will take appropriate action.
Look Atty. Ben.
We have engaged you on quite several issues and all that you have consistently down is insult (in the guise of proving your point).
You assert harmlessly telling a story thick with sarcasm. Not you are threatening me if you “sustain damages”.
Would anyway be in his right mind inflict harm on you for trading opinions on the blogosphere with other Filipinos?
You actually think I mean you harm when I identified you?
You know who I am but you browbeat and take on a superior posture while you hide behind a cover.
You are supposed to be a regular contributor but you choose to simply pop in and out. I have long politely suggested, nay appealed, that you honor us with fuller POV pieces so our own ‘smaller’ perspectives can deepen like yours, but you don’t.
Top busy to do so, in appears, but not busy enough to bully and threaten.
As I’ve said before, and I say again, you must be an honorable man.
But why why are you so hotheaded when your view is questioned specially when you make your wholesale defense of the Regime?
Paalam.
May your legal practice continue to thrive.
a story goes, one of the governors down south was interviewed.
interviewer: gov what can you say about violence in your province?
gov: i don’t even know how to play the guitar, how much more the violins.
***
the gov was finishing his keynote speech to a high school graduating class and was inviting them to a banquet, the gov sez “i invitation you all, to eat my house, i will die a cow, to eat you all”.
while in the banquet, one of the food preparers asked the gov if they can serve chicken, too. the gov replies “yes yes kill all the chickens boys and girls”.
LOL.
Further, and for the record, Atty. Ben,
Your four full posts here at FV, in all seriousness, are among my own faves and let me refresh the memory:
http://filipinovoices.com/author/bencard
http://filipinovoices.com/the-philippines-must-be-the-sole-judge-of-its-own-destiny
that’s why there is a subject English whenever you were in elementary and highschool until you went up in college.
i know its not easy to learn English rather of your native language,Noam Chomsky language could learn when you in early age of learning until you have improve English language….
for your frustations, try to read and speak English to enhance your English speaking you may not longer confused and your already to face up your problems resolving of speaking English.