First slurred words
July 12th, 2009 by Manuel BuencaminoWhy was Gloria Arroyo’s procedure kept secret?
Raul B. Guanzon, the cosmetic surgeon who operated on Gloria, might have unwittingly provided the answer.
“We put her to sleep because, if it’s local, it may be painful, so it’s better to put her into sleep because we can get the tissue without discomfort to the President. Immediately after, she was awake.”
So what?
Philippine Star columnist Marichu Villanueva, one of Gloria’s greatest fans, tells us why.
She wrote:
I distinctly recall the time that former President Fidel V. Ramos underwent a life-threatening carotid surgery when he suffered a near-fatal stroke at the Palace on Dec. 23, 1996. The late Presidential Security Group Gen. Jose Calimlim immediately notified then Vice President Joseph Estrada to proceed to Makati Medical Center before Mr. Ramos was put to sleep under major anesthesia. As constitutional successor, the Vice President was quietly alerted and was required to be physically present at the hospital for whatever the results would be. Fortunately, the surgery was a success and everything went back to normal. But credits go to the late PSG chief who made sure the constitutional requirements were followed.
So there.
Anyway, one of the medical staff who attended to Gloria has an interesting story to add.
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Dr. Guanzon briefed President Gloria on the procedure before he put her under general anesthesia.
“Ma’am we will remove those lumps so we can do a biospy” said Dr. Guanzon.
“Okey dokey. Is it going to hurt?”
“No ma’am. You will be under general anesthesia.”
“Good. Anything else?”
“Opoh. We may have to remove your implants if we see that they are leaking.”
“Hay naku doc, if you remove my implants people might notice. I have a SONA coming up pa naman.”
And so the last thing on Gloria’s mind before she was put to sleep were her implants….
So when she woke up, she was still thinking about her implants and the first slurred words out of her mouth were, “Yun dagdag? Yun dagdag?”
July 13, 2009 at 1:30 am
Was waiting for this MB.
Was interestedly reading this in you home blog.
Favor, you have the link for Ichu’s column?
July 13, 2009 at 1:40 am
Ding,
Sorry I don’t but it’s in Philippine Star either last thursday or friday
July 13, 2009 at 3:36 am
Okidoki, Manong.
July 13, 2009 at 5:04 am
So the country was without a leader during the operation. Possibly it was just an oversight in the rush of things. The US, during the cold war, could never be without a leader because someone had to be standing by to authorize the release of all those nukes should Russia take the moment of weakness to attack.
Well, here it might be a coup instead.
If the VP was not on standby, it was a rather big blunder . . .
Joe
July 13, 2009 at 7:17 am
Indeed it was.
Have now realized that we had been treated to “affirmative lying.”
http://midfield.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/affirmative-lying/
July 13, 2009 at 7:25 am
Hirap talaga pag pinakawalan ang mga trajo (traditional journalists) dito. Nagiging parang tabloid tuloy ang dating ng FV. Pati mga comment nagiging repleksyon ng kwalidad ng mga poste.
So much for the goal of raising the quality of the Pinoy “debate”.
Pinoy nga naman talaga.
Parang aso.
Matangkad lang kapag naka-upo.
[See the full poetry piece here, dedicated to the Filipino "Revolutionary".]
July 13, 2009 at 11:07 am
Benigno, in your hands Pinoy “debate” turns into Benigno “masturbate”.
July 14, 2009 at 12:06 am
talaga po naman. nakakawala ng gana. one of these days, this blog will be populated only by the likes of buencamino, gagelonia, toro, monsoon, tranquil, bert, supremo and a few others too obscure to mention. this blog, as we know it, is suffering from a terminal viral infection. it should be re-named “hate-gloria spin zone”. looks like my FV days are almost over.
July 14, 2009 at 2:23 am
Dami mo himutok Manong.Masama yan sa kalusugan.
Ayaw mo naman magsulat?
“…looks like my FV days are almost over.”
Should we observe a period of morning?
Magsulat ka nga. Malay mo, you might convert the critics.
You think you can so conviently dump me in a filing box?
Sige na magsulat ka. Kaso kuntento ksalang sa single putak issue. Alam mo na yun right?
Sige na magsulat ka.
July 14, 2009 at 3:20 am
yeah, gagelonia, you can start a “period of morning (sic)” by singing “land of the morning”.
July 13, 2009 at 7:29 am
She has to look CHARMING and SEXY in her coming meeting with
U.S. Pres. Barrack Obama. The Breast Implants are a necessity, not
a vanity. To get more U.S. Aids.
How about a manhood extension implant for the FG ?
July 13, 2009 at 8:23 am
“So when she woke up, she was still thinking about her implants and the first slurred words out of her mouth were, “Yun dagdag? Yun dagdag?””
_______________________________________________
Probably nothing to do with the implant. I think she was hallucinating of Garcillano’s works during the last presidential election.
July 13, 2009 at 8:45 am
Once again another example of the brilliant satirical punditry by one of the best it seems in the country’s punditocracy.
July 13, 2009 at 9:32 am
Benigno,
Are you perhaps the son/nephew/brother of the former Star columnist and AFP correspondent Teddy Benigno?
July 13, 2009 at 10:15 am
Do not insult Teddy Benigno.
July 13, 2009 at 10:34 am
Been an ardent reader of TB’s columns. I like his vision and politics. So when I visited the GetReal site of our own Benigz here, was quite surprised to find lots of articles there by TB.
How is TB and Benigz related?
If Benigz here is espousing TB’s vision and politics I’m afraid he is not doing it effectively because he, Benigz, is coming off as very arrogant.
Benigz is adopting an elitist arrogant stand.
It will not work.
July 13, 2009 at 9:41 am
tranquil,
Pasingit. the late Teddy Benigno was a personal friend.
He, among others, was founder of FOCAP – the Foreign Correspondents Association of the Philippines and was Press Secretary under Pres. Cory.
We had occasion to coordinate closely when I media officer of VP Tito Guingona.
July 13, 2009 at 10:05 am
Ding,
so how is our beloved Benigz here related to Teddy Benigno?
July 13, 2009 at 10:15 am
Am not assuming he is bro.
July 13, 2009 at 9:42 am
At wag kayong aalis. Magbabalik ang the Buzzzzzz!
July 13, 2009 at 10:43 am
I might take the occassion of Ding’s bit of name-dropping to cite one of the Teddyman’s seminal 2001 essay, “The worst, best of times“, where he wrote this insightful snippet (note that phrases set in boldface are my formatting):
Furthermore:
Read it and weep here! :-D
July 13, 2009 at 11:15 am
TCB has charm and wit and passion..
You, Benigz, has arrogance and insult as primary weapon. A turn-off.
July 13, 2009 at 11:01 am
Benigno,
Two words come to mind whenever I come across your Dr. Phil-type analytical pieces: “Yun bawas, yun bawas.”
July 13, 2009 at 11:05 am
Mixed metaphors were one of the things I enjoyed most about the late Teddyman. One time, he wrote about “Indians circling their wagons.”
July 13, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Ahh,
great Yogi Berra,
the mixed ones are better than the unmixed, always.
Never hatchet your counts before they chicken.
Joe
July 13, 2009 at 1:46 pm
wait… is this post a joke?
i have a humble suggestion. label posts as humor or satire when they are humor or satire.
when its a personal reflection, label it as such, instead of “news and current and events”.
July 13, 2009 at 3:31 pm
That’s gonna be a tough request to meet for most Pinoys. Apparently Pinoys have trouble distinguishing amongst various forms of written communication.
July 13, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Gabby D,
you want warning labels?
July 15, 2009 at 11:13 am
so we all know what we are reading is satire/humor (vs news, opinion, etc)
you can use tags to tag posts.
July 15, 2009 at 10:34 pm
gabbyd, i see your point. good old satire, as used by some people here, is a means of unfair caricature – the usual shield of cowards and scoundrels who try to put another in a bad light, public ridicule or contempt. it’s never funny except in a malevolent sort of way and only to those who bear the same contempt as the alleged “satirist”.
July 13, 2009 at 8:02 pm
“Pinoy nga naman talaga.
Parang aso.
Matangkad lang kapag naka-upo.”-benignO
mas mabuti na iyan kaysa sa asong ulol. maski sino kinakagat, lalo kung kalahi, heheh.
July 13, 2009 at 11:49 pm
hahaha MB…natawa ako dito :)
July 14, 2009 at 4:04 am
Har har har, Atty. Cardinez. Ok so you caught the typo. :D
Me sing the English version of Lupang Hinirang?
Sure so long as you sing the Pilipino version of your adopted nation’s anthem, too?
So magsusulat ka na? O talaga bang magluluksa ba kami o magpapamisa ng pasasalamat?
Ba, 4pm na pala dyan sa East Coast. Nagpakanaw ka na ba ng kape sa gopher mo? Just don’t make he/she sit on your lap, bossing. :)
At least hindi mo ko tinawag ng “punk.” :)
July 15, 2009 at 10:30 am
hahahahaha…
so beri funi atorni…
July 16, 2009 at 12:25 am
there are no tags in the FV posts, but there is a “subject” filing system. this post is politics for example.
is this post just about politics, or humor?