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First slurred words

Why was Gloria Arroyo’s procedure kept secret?

Raul B. Guanzon, the cosmetic surgeon who operated on Gloria, might have unwittingly provided the answer.

“We put her to sleep because, if it’s local, it may be painful, so it’s better to put her into sleep because we can get the tissue without discomfort to the President. Immediately after, she was awake.”

So what?

Philippine Star columnist Marichu Villanueva, one of Gloria’s greatest fans, tells us why.

She wrote:

I distinctly recall the time that former President Fidel V. Ramos underwent a life-threatening carotid surgery when he suffered a near-fatal stroke at the Palace on Dec. 23, 1996. The late Presidential Security Group Gen. Jose Calimlim immediately notified then Vice President Joseph Estrada to proceed to Makati Medical Center before Mr. Ramos was put to sleep under major anesthesia. As constitutional successor, the Vice President was quietly alerted and was required to be physically present at the hospital for whatever the results would be. Fortunately, the surgery was a success and everything went back to normal. But credits go to the late PSG chief who made sure the constitutional requirements were followed.

So there.

Anyway, one of the medical staff who attended to Gloria has an interesting story to add.

    Dr. Guanzon briefed President Gloria on the procedure before he put her under general anesthesia.

    “Ma’am we will remove those lumps so we can do a biospy” said Dr. Guanzon.

    “Okey dokey. Is it going to hurt?”

    “No ma’am. You will be under general anesthesia.”

    “Good. Anything else?”

    “Opoh. We may have to remove your implants if we see that they are leaking.”

    “Hay naku doc, if you remove my implants people might notice. I have a SONA coming up pa naman.”

    And so the last thing on Gloria’s mind before she was put to sleep were her implants….

    So when she woke up, she was still thinking about her implants and the first slurred words out of her mouth were, “Yun dagdag? Yun dagdag?”

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Comments

  1. Was waiting for this MB.

    Was interestedly reading this in you home blog.

    Favor, you have the link for Ichu’s column?

  2. Joe America says:

    So the country was without a leader during the operation. Possibly it was just an oversight in the rush of things. The US, during the cold war, could never be without a leader because someone had to be standing by to authorize the release of all those nukes should Russia take the moment of weakness to attack.

    Well, here it might be a coup instead.

    If the VP was not on standby, it was a rather big blunder . . .

    Joe

  3. Indeed it was.

    Have now realized that we had been treated to “affirmative lying.”

    http://midfield.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/affirmative-lying/

  4. benign0 says:

    Hirap talaga pag pinakawalan ang mga trajo (traditional journalists) dito. Nagiging parang tabloid tuloy ang dating ng FV. Pati mga comment nagiging repleksyon ng kwalidad ng mga poste.

    So much for the goal of raising the quality of the Pinoy “debate”.

    Pinoy nga naman talaga.
    Parang aso.
    Matangkad lang kapag naka-upo
    .

    [See the full poetry piece here, dedicated to the Filipino "Revolutionary".]

    • Manuel Buencamino manuelbuencamino says:

      Benigno, in your hands Pinoy “debate” turns into Benigno “masturbate”.

    • Bencard says:

      talaga po naman. nakakawala ng gana. one of these days, this blog will be populated only by the likes of buencamino, gagelonia, toro, monsoon, tranquil, bert, supremo and a few others too obscure to mention. this blog, as we know it, is suffering from a terminal viral infection. it should be re-named “hate-gloria spin zone”. looks like my FV days are almost over.

      • Dami mo himutok Manong.Masama yan sa kalusugan.

        Ayaw mo naman magsulat?

        “…looks like my FV days are almost over.”

        Should we observe a period of morning?

        Magsulat ka nga. Malay mo, you might convert the critics.

        You think you can so conviently dump me in a filing box?

        Sige na magsulat ka. Kaso kuntento ksalang sa single putak issue. Alam mo na yun right?

        Sige na magsulat ka.

      • Bencard says:

        yeah, gagelonia, you can start a “period of morning (sic)” by singing “land of the morning”.

  5. HYDEN TORO says:

    She has to look CHARMING and SEXY in her coming meeting with
    U.S. Pres. Barrack Obama. The Breast Implants are a necessity, not
    a vanity. To get more U.S. Aids.

    How about a manhood extension implant for the FG ?

  6. Bert says:

    “So when she woke up, she was still thinking about her implants and the first slurred words out of her mouth were, “Yun dagdag? Yun dagdag?””
    _______________________________________________

    Probably nothing to do with the implant. I think she was hallucinating of Garcillano’s works during the last presidential election.

  7. J_ag says:

    Once again another example of the brilliant satirical punditry by one of the best it seems in the country’s punditocracy.

  8. tranquil says:

    Benigno,

    Are you perhaps the son/nephew/brother of the former Star columnist and AFP correspondent Teddy Benigno?

    • supremo says:

      Do not insult Teddy Benigno.

      • tranquil says:

        Been an ardent reader of TB’s columns. I like his vision and politics. So when I visited the GetReal site of our own Benigz here, was quite surprised to find lots of articles there by TB.

        How is TB and Benigz related?

        If Benigz here is espousing TB’s vision and politics I’m afraid he is not doing it effectively because he, Benigz, is coming off as very arrogant.

        Benigz is adopting an elitist arrogant stand.

        It will not work.

  9. tranquil,

    Pasingit. the late Teddy Benigno was a personal friend.

    He, among others, was founder of FOCAP – the Foreign Correspondents Association of the Philippines and was Press Secretary under Pres. Cory.

    We had occasion to coordinate closely when I media officer of VP Tito Guingona.

  10. Kamote says:

    At wag kayong aalis. Magbabalik ang the Buzzzzzz!

  11. benign0 says:

    I might take the occassion of Ding’s bit of name-dropping to cite one of the Teddyman’s seminal 2001 essay, “The worst, best of times“, where he wrote this insightful snippet (note that phrases set in boldface are my formatting):

    In many of our recent writings, greatly helped by a month’s vacation where he could reflect better, this author chartered a different path. We sought to understand why the Filipino remained a “born loser” in the great human struggle to escape poverty, why our democracy remained an abject failure, why unlike the others our economy couldn’t soar. We talk and bicker too much, and act too little, said GMA in her SONA. The Yellow Paper II of 30 outstanding economists and social scientists said we needed more “effective leadership” plus a program to alleviate poverty. That multinational guru Peter Wallace said Filipinos must develop a sense of national pride and doing things for society, not the individual. The CNN-APS led by Triccie Sison and Brother Roly Dizon brought out its rapier to thrust gamely at poverty and corruption.

    I have chosen the culture of the Filipino as my battleground.

    Mine is the conviction that unless we dig deep into our culture, we will never see the pit bull that has torn our pants off, gnawed at our intestines and robbed us of our soul.

    Furthermore:

    Digest that well. Don’t you get the heebie-jeebies? And then we go to Samuel P. Huntington (world famous for his classic Clash of Civilizations). In his Pan-American Dream, Huntington identifies ten values or mind-sets that distinguish progressive cultures from static cultures. You could almost swear Huntington was writing about the Philippines, vide:

    First. time orientation. Progressive cultures emphasize the future. Static cultures emphasize the present or past.

    Second. Work is central to the good life in progressive cultures but is a burden in static cultures. In the former, work structures daily life. Diligence, creativity, and achievement are rewarded not only financially but also with satisfaction and self-respect.

    Third. Frugality is the mother of investment ‘ and financial security ‘ in progressive cultures but is a threat to the ‘egalitarian’ status quo in static cultures, which often have a zero-sum world view.

    Fourth. Education is the key to progress in progressive cultures. Connections and family are what count in static cultures.

    Fifth. Community. In progressive cultures, the radius of identification and trust extends beyond the family, to the broader society. Societies with a narrow focus of identification and trust are more prone to corruption, tax evasion, and nepotism, and they are less likely to engage in philantrophy.

    Sixth. Merit is central to advancement in progressive cultures. Again, connections and family are what count in static cultures.

    Seventh. The ethical code tends to be more rigorous in progressive cultures. Every advanced democracy (except Belgium, Taiwan, Italy and South Korea appears among the 25 least corrupt countries on Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index.

    Eighth. Justice and fair play are universal expectations in progressive cultures. In static culture, justice like personal advancement is often a function of whom you know and how much you can pay (Hear, hear! Now you know why GMA and Ping Lacson met in Malaca’ang. TCB).

    Ninth. Authority tends toward dispersion and horizontality in progressive cultures, towards concentration and verticality in static cultures.
    Tenth. Secularism. The influence of religious institution on civic life is small in progressive cultures. Its influence is often substantial in static cultures.

    What I want to happen is that our culture as Filipinos gets to front and center in a raging national discussion and debate. It’s time we elevated the quality and context of the national agenda. Huge and bigger cracks are opening in our republican armor . . . And unless we move soon, we Filipinos shall all miss the point. The locomotive. We are almost half a century late. Already we are biting the dust of Thailand and Malaysia. Shall we wait for Vietnam to send us to the cleaners?

    Read it and weep here! :-D

    • tranquil says:

      TCB has charm and wit and passion..

      You, Benigz, has arrogance and insult as primary weapon. A turn-off.

  12. Manuel Buencamino manuelbuencamino says:

    Benigno,

    Two words come to mind whenever I come across your Dr. Phil-type analytical pieces: “Yun bawas, yun bawas.”

  13. Manuel Buencamino manuelbuencamino says:

    Mixed metaphors were one of the things I enjoyed most about the late Teddyman. One time, he wrote about “Indians circling their wagons.”

    • Joe America says:

      Ahh,

      great Yogi Berra,
      the mixed ones are better than the unmixed, always.

      Never hatchet your counts before they chicken.

      Joe

  14. GabbyD says:

    wait… is this post a joke?

    i have a humble suggestion. label posts as humor or satire when they are humor or satire.

    when its a personal reflection, label it as such, instead of “news and current and events”.

    • benign0 says:

      That’s gonna be a tough request to meet for most Pinoys. Apparently Pinoys have trouble distinguishing amongst various forms of written communication.

    • Manuel Buencamino manuelbuencamino says:

      Gabby D,

      you want warning labels?

      • GabbyD says:

        so we all know what we are reading is satire/humor (vs news, opinion, etc)

        you can use tags to tag posts.

      • Bencard says:

        gabbyd, i see your point. good old satire, as used by some people here, is a means of unfair caricature – the usual shield of cowards and scoundrels who try to put another in a bad light, public ridicule or contempt. it’s never funny except in a malevolent sort of way and only to those who bear the same contempt as the alleged “satirist”.

  15. Bert says:

    “Pinoy nga naman talaga.
    Parang aso.
    Matangkad lang kapag naka-upo.”-benignO

    mas mabuti na iyan kaysa sa asong ulol. maski sino kinakagat, lalo kung kalahi, heheh.

  16. nosibalasi says:

    hahaha MB…natawa ako dito :)

  17. Har har har, Atty. Cardinez. Ok so you caught the typo. :D

    Me sing the English version of Lupang Hinirang?

    Sure so long as you sing the Pilipino version of your adopted nation’s anthem, too?

    So magsusulat ka na? O talaga bang magluluksa ba kami o magpapamisa ng pasasalamat?

    Ba, 4pm na pala dyan sa East Coast. Nagpakanaw ka na ba ng kape sa gopher mo? Just don’t make he/she sit on your lap, bossing. :)

    At least hindi mo ko tinawag ng “punk.” :)

  18. tranquil says:

    hahahahaha…

    so beri funi atorni…

  19. GabbyD says:

    there are no tags in the FV posts, but there is a “subject” filing system. this post is politics for example.

    is this post just about politics, or humor?

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