Bad poetry can be so sincere. So sincere. It only looks like poetry because of the paragraphing. When the lyrics do not match the melody, and the sound clashes with the sense, versifying the odd pair is like putting curlers on a poodle. If the latter is motivated by an inner self-loathing, then the former will be deaf to the richness and complexity of the spoken wording.
On the technical side, when we try to rhyme in Pilipino, we must be aware that the “a” sound, for example, has at least four different possibilities of sound and accent: flat accented, flat non-accented, glottal stop accented, glottal stop non-accented. None of them rhyme or syncopate.
It’s like singing disintonated. We must also read a bit about “meter” although that can get complicated. But every attempt can be well taken even when we might be disapointed.
Everyone ought to take this as encouragement. Poetry can be good for the soul of the long- and hot-winded. And for the rest of us…it’s amusing entertainment.
Bow-wow-wow-wee.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Apart, Flips thrive;
Together, Flips fail;
All for no one;
No one for all;
Lav ya Flips, Lav ya white Flips;
No lav brown Flips;
When the chance arrives, I’ll plagiarize that one. In addition to “…crab mentality”, a few Pinoys also describe the Pinas-culture with :
Apart, Flips thrive;
Together, Flips fail.
I will second this. Good lines there, RP.
That, UP n, is not orig
Renato’s benigno’s acolyte
So never miss his master’s quote
When chance arrives, always he did
Plagiarized, and that’s the truth of it.
Flps in America scream discrimination! But no one screams discrimination against my brown brothers by fellow Flips.
No one screams discrimination if they are required to submit 2×2 picture in their job application …. Idiot pekeng-peryodistas are even blind about this …
HA!HA!HA!HA! WE’RE DOOOOMED!!!!! WE CAN BE EDUCATED BUT WE CANNOT LEARN ….. HA!HA!HA1HA!
I sent an e-mail to MLQ regarding 2×2 pics … and he was dormantly silently …. as usual …. just like the rest of the pekeng-peryodistas …. maybe he didn’t respond to me because he tagged me as JUNK!
Discrimination is JUNK in the mind of pekeng-peryodistas …. HA!HA!HA! I JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY Benign0 patronize, adore these scheming pests !!!!! HA!HA!HA!HA!
what is jakol?
lol, reminds me so much my question to my mother 30 years ago. Sabi ko “ma ano bang ibig sabihin ng masturbation? Dahil napa konserbatibo ng mg tao sa habay. Tumahimik lang si Mama at hindi sinagot ang tanong ko. So I look for the dictionary and look for the meaning myself. And totally understand why my mother ignored the question
Happy Mothers day sa lahat ng mag Nanay!
We were cruising in the Galaxy…Then, some rhymes were
formed in my cerebral cortex.Our celestial guide commanded
me to share it with Earthling friends. Here it goes:
I traveled first on a Star,
And transformed to a cloud from afar
Attended by my Tasio Avatar
Who guided and chauffeured me like an Earth superstar.
Now I must return,
Even though I yearn
For your True love
Love that is never spurned.
…God’s Angel
DJB,
Here is one of the 3 poems in my book. Please critique if I have observed meter and rhyme.
JUSTICE TINGA
Pangalang intsik hindi maitago di-maikaila,
May akda ng hatol ako daw ay extortionista,
Angking yaman inaglahi, minura, inapura,
Kaagapay Callejo, Puno, Nazario at Austria.
Katotohana’y sa husgado’y hayag at nakadilat,
Sa Mahistradong may talino at wisyong sapat,
Katamara’y pinairal, kasinungalinga’y sinulat,
Palamarang diwa’y sa silanga’y sinambulat.
Dangal ng iba’y inalipusta, dinusta’t hinamak,
Kapanalig ang IBP sa adhikaing imbi’t payak,
Katwirang matino di binasa di inurirat, di tiniyak,
Baluktot na hatol, katwirang gahol, isinalaksak.
Nuong musmos na bata, ako’y madalas pumila,
Hawak diaryo, bote, bakal, lata at garapa,
Sa mamimiling intsik, amoy beho’t bekwa,
Lumang diyaryo, bote, bakal, lata’y binebenta.
Lumaon switik na intsik naging matagumpay,
Mula sa diaryo, bote, garapa, lata at bakal,
Naging “compradores” ng mais copra at palay,
Negosyong basura iniwan sa Pinoy na tambay.
Lumipas ang taon tagumpay sumingkad, sumilay,
Inani ng intsik umagos, kumapal at nanilay-nilay,
Pinasok bangko, hotel, tela, manukan, tindahan,
Pangalang Sy, Go, Kong, We, Tan pumailanlang.
Limpak limpak na pilak, ginto, yaman di sapat,
Nakita ang Pinoy kumikita mas higit sa dapat,
Sa sangay ng hustisya at hudikatura’y sumisikwat,
Imbentaryong kalakal, kapital o “collateral” salat.
Intsik namulat, nainggit, pumalakpak, humalakhak,
Negosyong Pinoy, henyo, nakakagulat dapat isautak,
Walang imbentaryong kalakal, “collateral” na tapat,
Sa resolusyon, desisyon, TRO o injunksyon kita’y kagyat.
Sa mamamayan at “common tao” alay ang tulang ito,
Pangalang intsik sa hudikatura’t hustisya dapat matanto,
Pag pinasok ni beho isip negosyo hindi hustisya at tao,
Sambayanan manalangin, katapusan na po ng mundo.
jcc,
Legendary is Tinga sa you know what.
i understand he is a rotarian. :)
Here is the second poem:
A SOLO PRACTITIONER’S POEM
Unlike Don Quijote in tattered stance,
On malnourished horse and rusty lance,
I was armed with IBM laptop in hand,
I type forty five words per minute in time.
Punched the keyboard in Microsoft word,
Turned around and file it in PDF board,
I am better than Mr. Jurist in all accord,
No typist to torture with hieroglyphic code.
No fat pensions from taxpayer’s blood,
No limousine to bring me to my pad,
My paycheck is more on clients’ trust,
A Jurist paycheck is more of a heist.
May tawag diyan sa kalye… trabaho na, tina-trabaho pa.
:)
djb, thanks.
A lawyer and versifier be
Justice of the peace.
between truth and beauty.
(Not bad at all, JCC!)
It sounds like your catharsis.
Jakol…
Filipino slang for ejaculation…
After standing at attention
With the right stimulation
It’s quite ready for emission
Jakol…
An abrupt emphatic exclamation
expressing emotion
—–
http://www.google.com.ph/search?hl=en&defl=en&q=define:ejaculation&ei=a1QHSsLjMI-MkAWt3pDWBw&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title
thanks. so its ejaculation, not masturbation?
Have you heard of virtual sex being develop lately?
Kaya madalas, ang nangyayari ‘slip-of=the-tongue-ina’.
After the poem, why not the prose?
Shouldn’t each of the poems be discussed in a comprehensive whole so there is less work in abstraction?
Just asking.
Primer, Here is the post with some carriage returns thrown in here and there:
Lots of bad poetry are disguised like this. It looks and even sounds like a poem (since there is rhyme and rhythm and harmony), but really it ain’t. It’s still “prose”.
DJC,
Wink, wink, you rascal you.
heheheh.
JAKOL … doon magaling ang Flips Jakol!!!!! Tahol!!!! Jakol!!!!
Apart, Flips thrive;
Together, Flips fail;
All for no one;
No one for all;
Gee, Renato, if you made that on purpose, I’m very impressed. (And even if you didn’t!)
With just a very lil work, it could pass for a classic seventeen-syllable Jap-style haiku with three metrical lines (5-7-5).
I steal one from Basho–
Dark nights grow longer
Worn and weary no one sleeps
That dog keeps barking.
Check out this critically-acclaimed book I wrote where the issues encapsulated in my equally brilliant poetry are spelled out in the finest prose.
Read it and weep. :D
he he bilib na talaga ako sa sayo self promotion skills benigz
other than MLQ3, who else praised your book?
BongV!
GabbyD,
Ahem.Actually Manolo did that just to get rid of his blog’s main heckler. A clever salve to get rid of a bad skin rash. And guess who the “Publisher” of the book is? What bookstore carries it? It’s downloadable for free. So no one has bought it. Anybody can put together a PDF file full of b.s. cut n pasted form B.S. Without a real publisher this is not a real book but a mere computer file. Even pink gurl n boy bloggers could make a book like this.
Critically acclaimed? He needs to have his head examined, which is critically inflamed.
Here’s a simple question for you, Dean:
Have you read the book?
Because if you haven’t then what exactly substantiates your claim that my excellent book is “full of b.s. cut n pasted form B.S.”?
Furthermore, your definition of a “book” is one that is published and carried by a bookstore.
Guess what: Mine fits both criteria:
(a) It is published; and,
(b) It is carried by a bookstore, my bookstore which you can find right here.
Pinoy nga naman talaga
Parang aso
Matangkad lang kapag naka-upo.
- :D
so i guess no one else praised your book.
You gotta read it first to praise it, GabbyD — or for that matter, criticise it. ;)
GabbyD,
No one has either praised or criticised the book ever since MLQ3 got rid of his barking familiar with that effective strategem. At least no one Google seems to know about. Wonder why? Possibly it is because no one HAS bothered to read it but the author alone, who is also its greatest and only fan. Perhaps we ought to follow MLQ3′s example, since no one that read that rash-relieving post of his has been to known to praise, criticize or even mention it.
“You gotta read it first to praise it, GabbyD — or for that matter, criticise it. ”
so no one has read it? i’m confused. i asked who else praised it, (a super straight forward question, btw… )
you didn’t answer. then you said, you gotta read it first — which is NOT an answer to the question…
Ang Pinoy
.
Bayang kumakahol
Dili kaya’y nagmamaktol?
Bayang tila bopol
Mula sa makatang pulpol
Bayang nagjaja_ol
Kanino naman ipinupukol?
Bayang nililindol
Ng ‘sang makatang “_s_hole”
nice one, baycas ….
Bilingual rhyming poetry. Funny, but seriously funny. Kudos!
Amazing thread overall. Kudos.
I prefer the poetry of an artist/friend from my hometown.
Joey Ayala
Title Karaniwang Tao
Album Mga Awit ng Tanod Lupa [1990]
Composer Joey Ayala
Song Lyrics
Aako po’y karaniwang tao lamang
Kayod-kabayo, ‘yan ang alam
Karaniwang hanap-buhay
Karaniwan ang problema
Pagkain, damit at tirahan
‘Di ko kabisado ‘yang siyensiya
Ako’y nalilito sa maraming salita
Alam ko lang na itong planeta’y
Walang kapalit at dapat ingatan
Kapag nasira, sino ang kawawa
CHORUS
Karaniwang tao, saan ka tatakbo
Kapag nawasak iisang mundo
Karaniwang tao, anong magagawa
Upang bantayan ang kalikasan
Karaniwang bagay ay ‘di pansin
Kapag naipon ay nagiging suliranin
Kaunting basura ngayo’y bundok
Kotseng sira ay umuusok
Sabong panlaba’y pumapatay sa ilog
May lason na galing sa industriya
Ibinubuga ng mga pabrika
Ngunit ‘di lamang higante
Ang nagkakalat ng dumi
May kinalaman din ang tulad natin
[Repeat CHORUS twice]
Karaniwang tao [4x]
[Repeat CHORUS]
Karaniwang tao
[Repeat till fade]
DJB,
Here is another one from my collection but not from my book:
DALAWANG MUKHA NG KAHIRAPAN
Ulan, luha’t tao, lahat umaagos
Daloy sa yero’t kalawang tumatagos
Luha sa mata ng dukhang musmos
Pasahero sa tren agos parang ilog.
Bangis at rahas ng bagyo’y sumaklot
Dampa ng musmos, magulang nalugmok
Bukang liwayway, tao’y kandahumahog
Ukyabit sa estribo ng treng umaalog.
Sa hirap ng buhay, bulsa’y sinasalat
Pamasahe sa tren kinakapa’t sinisilat
Sukling karamput agam-agam ang dulot
Sa kakanin at isaw barya kaya’y aabot?
Palahaw ng paslit taghoy ang katulad
Animo’y balaraw, hapdi’y tumitingkad
Hapis na mukha patang katawan maaaninag
Bukang liwayway, dilim ang kahalintulad.
Yerong bulok, kahoy niyog, dampa’y hinubog
Sa basurahan kinalap, sininop, hinalughog
Bagyong marahas, rumaragasang hinablot
Payak na palasyo sa papawirin pinaikot-ikot.
Dalawang uri ng kahirapan sa bayang nilisan
Parang guni-guning bumabalik sa balintataw
Ano mang pag-iwas, pagwaksi gunita sa bayan
Diwa’t lahing kinagisnan sariwang iniuugnay.
August 20, 2008
JCC
DJB: alam ko ang disintonado. pero ano ang disintonated?
Mike H, that’s a poetic word subject to different interpretations, lol.
I’m a lover of alliteration and rhyme, the better to make the sound match the sense, as in the use of syncopated, complicated, disintonated in the post. But there is of course no such word in English.
DJB,
Months before I found FV, i had been a PCIJ regular. There are lots of intellectual masturbators in that site also. The UP intellectual bias, or shall I say intellectual “bigotry” was every much apparent.
I contributed some articles and some poems. Here is another poem.
Pagmamahal sa Bayan of Hatian ang Isyo?
Madalas maglagak ng opinyong payak
Sa salitang banyaga, dila’y kumakalpas
Sa PCIJ website nay may layuning tapat?
Kaya’t diwa ay di matarok di masukat
Nagpumilit kumatha ng tulang walang sukat
Nagbabakasakaling sambayanan mamulat
Diwa’y pumaimbulog, makulay na imahinasyon
Sinulat, ang isyo ba sa ZTE deal, pagmamahal
sa bayan o hatian ang ugat?
Sabi ni neri ‘imoderate ang greed’ dahil
Ating parte simut lahat panay latak
Sagot ni abalos sa utusang jun, di puede
Si maa’m at FG ay masasalat.
65 milyon dollar malaki na siguro
Kung ang maghahati bale tatlo katao
Pero kung magpumilit, sa 130 milyon mo,
Aming grupo agrabiado, kakanta kami sa senado.
Abalos nag-init, nagmura’t, nagtatalak
Sa wack-wack di ka tutuntong ika’y mapapahamak
Kung ang parte mo ay iyong inuungkat
Barya lang ang iyong kasukat – ungas!
Lozada’y nangatog, dibdib kumaldabog
Kung sa munting barya buhay mahuhulog
Sa hongkong muna maglalayag at yayaot
Bayang sinta, nilisan at magpapahinog.
Joey nabahala – nagkaideya nag-ulat
Kung ang ZTE deal ay aalingasngas
Si GMA mapilitang ibasura ang lahat
Ngiti’y sumilay sa mukhang aandap-andap.
Isyu sa ZTE gagawing sundang at armas
Para si gma ay masibak at kumaripas
Kapag ang bayan naguyo’t nalingat
ZTE deal na gugulong, isusulong agad.
Kampon nilikom, pinainom at nag “presscon”
ZTE deal nakakarimarim dagok ang katulad
Dibdib ng bayan sinilaban, pinaapoy, lumiyab
Bandila ng pakikidgma iwinagayway nilatag.
GMA di nabahala tinanggap ang hamon
Unang sinibak ang matandang leon
Di natakot sa pakikipaghamok sa kampo
Ng lobo’t hyeena, o mga tigre man iyon.
Joey umatras, aniya stratehiya patatagin
Lahat na pulitiko pasawsawin, ilihis aliwin
Bulong kay enrile si jun sa hongkong pabalikin
At sa senado’y pakantahin, paartihin, pasayawin.
Si jun sa senado kumanta’t umarte, sumayaw
Sabi ni miriam pang famas ang dating parang tunay
Bayan nagka alta-presyon, nagliyab, sumulong
Sa edsa, plaza miranda, makati avenue nagpulong.
Kabayan kailan tayo matututo
Away pulitiko hindi away ng tao
Pagmamahal sa bayan di ang ugat nito
Hatian sa nakaw ito mismo ang isyo.
Febrero 16, 2008, USA.
Folks, there is such a thing as prose poetry. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was a master of this genre, as in Evangeline, which opens with:
This is the forest primeval, the murmuring pines and the hemlocks
Bearded with moss and in garments green, indistinct in the twilight…
and goes on like that for 200 pages!
I’d like to share this poem I wrote some time ago, slightly altered to suit our purpose.
At Filinvest They Grow Wild Papayas
At Filinvest they grow wild papayas,
And cogon grass as tall as Shaq,
Laundromats and welding shops,
As well as gamecocks and Chihuahuas.
Atop the hills is that a chateau?
Boy, ‘tis Marta’s, and Boy Bikol’s too.
By the gate is Belle’s Salon,
Where “jaguars” over their dames fawn.
Inside Batasan they letter the rules,
On the streets they litter rubbles.
In Sandigan they try Erap,
While some kotong fry pedicabs.
When naked tots knock for alms
One wonders when will Loren come.
And when orphans peddle rain or shine,
What scruples hold trapos filching Juans’ funds?
Lo and behold! By the turo-turo,
A cyber cafe can welcome you.
They chat, network or browse Yahoo,
Or in FV add a message or two.
Good one, Abe, good one.
It’s a poem of nouns, a plethora of nouns.
And who woulda thought that ‘papayas’ double-rhymes with ‘chihuahuas’ at both the last and second to the last syllables. Those are really hard to come by!
If there is such a thing as prose poetry, what would exempt anyone of us now from having been one – like it or not?
It’s terrific to know that most anyone of the more terrific bloggers are poets in disguise. And the interest seems to see a pattern. Sobra, ang gagaling po ninyo – I mean it, don’t twist my mind.