I’m sure most of us here not only know what a comb-over is, chances are we actually personally know at least one person who sports a comb over. I once had a science teacher who had one in a pretty advanced stage. The strands of hair he used for the job originated from the right side of his head in an area just above his right ear. They were long enough to be draped clear across the top of his head with their ends landing into the opposite side of his head just above his left ear. Apparently he used some form of adhesive to keep them there because windy days didn’t seem to bother him as far as I recall. By my estimates, if the strands of hair that do the sad job of covering his bald spot (or rather, the area between his hair spots) were allowed to dangle naturally from their roots, they’d easily clear his collar bone.
A few years after I graduated from university, I had the opportunity to see first-hand what a comb-over looked like before it’s been, well, combed over. Me and my boss at the time had to board a ship early in the morning and awaken the captain — a guy who had one wicked comb-over — to discuss some urgent maintenance issues. Considering he was the captain and we were standing on his ship (there is none of that “permission to board, captain” protocol in inter-island shipping), he seemed to be willing to endure the indignity of meeting with us (my boss was a very impatient man) sans the morning routine he presumably goes through to prepare da hair. So yes. At that very moment the captain walked into the bridge, years after I formed my original hypothesis on the matter, I got my empirical validation. Strands of hair hung from the side of his head down to just above his right breast pocket. Worse, for him, the discussion stretched to almost half an hour of awkwardness.
There are three key questions one can ask about the comb-over phenomenon that when seen under a different-coloured light (which I will show later) actually tell us a lot about the human condition in general.
Do people who sport comb-overs actually believe they are effectively masking their baldness?
Obviously not. I’m even quite sure that comb-over folk actually know that they don’t fool anyone. But they do it anyway. It’s a ritual that’s become part of their comfort zone. And lest we hastily judge or make fun of people who sport this ‘do, consider some of the little useless rituals that we do ourselves — like, say, the superstitious gestures or ticks we make just to assure the irrational side of ourselves that we’ll get through the day without a boulder falling on our heads out of nowhere as we stroll down the street.
How does one single out a specific set of strands to grow to an abnormal length and then consciously apply these to the onerous task that is the subject of this article?
Indeed, when one realises how long it takes for a strand of hair to triple or quadruple in length (relative to the rest that are trimmed to normal lengths regularly), a comb-over scalp architecture does not just happen. Setting one’s scalp up for a comb-over ‘do seems to be a carefully planned and measured undertaking.
But is it?
This brings us to the third question:
How does one get to such a point?
The second question above comes from the thinking that comb-overs come about by design. And I purposely answered the above question in a way that further propagates this line of thinking.
Comb-overs don’t just happen.
Sound familiar?
The third question however is a bit more insightful as it leads us down the path to a more sound explanation of how a comb-over ‘do comes about.
I believe that comb-over regimes happen progressively. They start as a small bald patch that can be hidden with a very minor change in the way we comb our hair. In my case, for example, a scar just above my hairline at the left side of my face predisposes me to grow a bit of an extra fringe there (and comb it down a bit) to even things out — achieve that symmetry that is so prized in the animal kingdom, so to speak.
For those of us who are unfortunate enough to possess the male pattern baldness gene, the baldness can advance in a slow enough pace as to elude awareness of the small incremental changes in the way we comb and have our hair trimmed as the shinier spots on our head advance in scope. The majority probably get it at some point and make a decisive correction in their grooming patterns.
Unfortunately, some don’t — at least not until they are way past the point-of-no-return in their emotional and social investment in their chosen hair grooming regime.
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Epilogue:
Funny that I set out to write this article with the aim of making only one point. Instead I came up with two that are mutually-exclusive (the usual unforeseen outcome of sheer brilliance). Point 1 is the unintended bonus so I won’t elaborate much on it and focus more on Point 2:
Point 1: Just because something looks like it was designed in a single conscious effort does not mean it actually was.
Point 2: Admit it. Comb-overs are funny in a sad sort of way. Thus, the sad and laughable state and nature of Philippine society can be considered a comb-over on a national scale.
We got here because we kept trying to unsustainably mask an increasingly gaping wasteland in our collective psyche as a people. We are so invested in our little quaint rituals and traditions and have crossed a point-of-no-return barrier that becomes more formidable as we soldier on down a path that will lead us to a future of irrelevance that is both pathetic and hilarious.
Next time you see a person sporting a comb-over, stop and think how from your point of view the solution to his predicament is so obvious yet most probably so alien to him.
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Benign0, your thread is quiet deep for me to comprehend. It challenged me what you are trying to deliver. I delved it to my knucklehead I still couldn't find the connect. I'm sorry, because i'm a Filipino. Filipinos are not known deep thinkers.
Could you simplify please.
Hilarious!!!
So what do you think happen when the comb-over Pinoys have a bad hair day?
Ocho-ocho politics and shawarma revolutions?
Whatever you do with your hair is your business. Donald Trump, the real estate billionaire is a great comb over
guy. Together with his wealth, his good looks, and his celebrity status. He is a comb over living legend.
Could Benign0 saying that the previous, current and future state of our government is just a comb-over? Likely!
more or less…
displays of patriotism – comb-over
choices of leaders – comb-over
development paradigms – comb-over
current knowledge, atittudes, and practices in governance – comb over
moral force – comb over
catholic religiosity – comb over
more or less a society which should be addressing the roots of its baldness is responding with a comb-over.
and on the side, a random occurence of longer hair strands might give the appearance of controlled growth aided by a designer – and the leap of faith to come to such a conclusion despite contrary evidence – a chop seuy of memes rife with gaps, gullibility, and incredulity which has the form "i can't imagine how ________________, therefore it has to be created/designed".
the thing is, as secular challenges are addressed, adding nonsecular elements wind up making the mud, muddier – leading to a comb-over.
one big hilarious comb-over.
Pekeng economic progress is also the effect of frequent occurence of foreign loans another comb-over
current anti-ASG campaigns – comb over
MoA AD – makeover
*****
Senate investigations – comb over
conviction and imprisonment of perpetrators of fraud – even hair growth
*****
"nation of servants" rallies – comb-over
"Malu Fernandez" brouhaha – comb-over
***
"Ted Failon" brouhaha – comb-over
continuous improvement of law enforcement methods – makeover
***
hindi lang comb-over, may cover-up pa.. jeezzz
I guess calling you "benigs" at times spares me the trouble of combing over the big "O."
In the spirit of conscious re-design, won't you mind if I call you "Obenigs" at other times . . . sort of combing over the bulk of your symbols to the other side?
Hahaha. Ditch the comb-over. E kung walang ng hair or little left of it — e di do a Bembol!
Kaso di pa naman bo-kal ang Pinas. We are a young nation — and we have hair (lotsa of it) — we just don't know how to style our hairdo in a united way.
Sangkatutak na foreign debt.
Brain drain.
Widespread corruption.
Human rights violations.
we have lotsa hair..but it's all in the nose and armpits, none on the head. =)
LOL
Could this be a filler blog post?
i have posted at least 4 comments which i had to break up in chunks but they were all deleted.
I got a response from FV. FV is dealing with the problem. FV recommended to keep comments in one short paragraph for the meantime. That is why I went for a work-around one-liners one time because the system posts it. I guess all of us encounter the same. Patience. Patience. Patience.
Absolutely "hair-lirious" – thanks benignO :)
Mr. Renato Pacifico
You hit the nail on the head! Filipinos are generally NOT DEEP THINKERS. I can see the heart of Mr. Benigno but I feel he's looking inside the box.
The Filipinos need to be looked at a WORLD VIEW and not at a Filipino POV. The world can be divided into areas with corresponding religions:
3.) ISLAM (Middle East)
1.) BUDDHIST-CONFUCIAN (Orient): China, Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, Singapore
2.) HINDU(Central Asia): India and some neighbors
4.) CHRISTIAN (Europe, the Americas, Australia/ New Zealand, Russia)
Christian is scattered over the world because of overseas conquests. A classification exception would be Jewish in Israel. Overlaps of course occurs like Pakistan (Islam) in Central Asia, Thailand and Indonesia have great Hindu influences.
Generally , 2 types of civilization have capable SUBSTANTIAL INTROSPECTION, these are the BUDDHIST-CONFUCIAN and the PROTESTANT (A subdivision of Christian civilizations).
Coincidentally, these 2 civilizations happen to make up most of the FIRST-WORLD INDUSTRIAL NATIONS (exceptions are France(Agnostic Catholic), not sure about Italy (Catholic with lots of problems).
This is not by accident. Comparatively, They have more developed PHILOSOPHIES & ETHICS in GOVERNMENT, COMMERCE, and INDUSTRIES.
The Filipinos are these:
-the natives do not have a sufficiently deep Heritage (Philosophies, commerce, industries, engineering, architecture, military learning, Government, etc.)
-Spanish-conquered Countries have similar problems in Government, Commerce and Industries.
-MODERN EDUCATION is EXTRINSIC (brought by the US). WE DID NOT EVOLVED IN FIGURING THINGS OUT BY OURSELVES.
-Tropical NINGAS-KUGON/ Indolence versus INDUSTRIAL DETERMINATION
Mr. BenignO is dealing with a culture na PAPAKYAW NA BINOBOTO ANG SHOWBIZ PEOPLE into running their lives, probably the only nation in the world to do so.
The many marvels and wonders of literary essays not few just 'love' to read at their own expense.
i thought i saw an avatar sporting a comb-over.
Mr. BeningO,
I'm happy a Filipino like you are writing deep Filipino Philosophical & Ethical concerns. I wish you success for the sake of millions.
I want to share an experience. After living in the US for more than 20 years, I actually wrote INDUSTRIAL PHILOSOPHIES & ETHICS of industrial nations to my alumni for 1 whole year. I picked the smartest and shared things like PRAGMATISM, MECHANICS, PRACTICALITY, MINIMALISM, TRADE-OFF, etc.
INDUSTRIAL ETHIC (Beautiful hands are the hands that work) INDUSTRIAL DETERMINATION, SACRIFICE, URGENCY, DILIGENCE ( prolonged Research & Development), etc.
Guess what? The alumni said these things are very smart but it's not their cup of tea.
I stopped writing since it's not the cup of tea of the whole Filipino culture anyway.
Meaning, we just stop? I'm a reader's advocate among others including prostitution and houseslaves. No pekeng-peryodistas pick-up my threads, posts and comments. I took them up for a person-on-person debate. No luck. I sent them barrage of e-mails. I got junked. I never got an audience from pekeng-peryodistas. Tough luck.
I think there's another way how to get to the Filipinos. It's another method. It has something to do with the Filipino culture so that they will be receptive.
That is why, if you excuse me, i'm caustic in my approach of criticism. Because if I'm soo toxic and overly offensive in my attack I get attention and audience. If i'm polite, i'm being read but ignored because we seem to have Attention Deficit Disorder + long-term memory loss.
I think the strong manner gets attention but offends people's pride. There's a clever way and they won't even notice. I'll keep this clever way confidential for now.