Toward the end of the third chapter of Noli Me Tangere, Crisostomo Ibarra barely avoids a quarrel with a combative Padre Damaso, and manages to make a hasty exit from the dinner party of Capitan Tiago. As he begins to wander the streets of Manila in the next chapter, he is accosted by an old lieutenant, Señor Guevara, who warns the young man to learn from the example of his deceased father, Don Rafael. Upon realizing that Crisostomo does not even know that his father died in prison, Guevara endeavors to tell him the details. Among other things, Don Rafael had somehow earned the ire of Padre Damaso: the Franciscan friar accused his former friend of failing to go to confession. Such an accusation meant that the soul of Don Rafael continued to bear the burden of his wrongdoings—that he existed in a state of disgrace, that he had not been forgiven.
Forgiveness tends to be a recurring theme during the holidays, because, whatever else can be said for the shrill décor and the manufactured cheer of the season, family and friends do come together, and in so gathering, each of us is given cause to consider the quality of his or her life in the context of his or her relationships with others, as well as with time. Where interpersonal fractures and burns exist, these intensify, become more deeply felt, and, when coupled with a renewed awareness of mortality—especially keen when one is in the presence of children—may well produce the urge to grant or seek forgiveness, to promote a general healing of divisions, to infuse the word “reunion” with fresh energy and significance.
Guevara then recounts to Crisostomo what Don Rafael once said on the issue of confession: “‘Take this example: if I have killed the father of a family, if I have made of a woman a sorrowing widow and destitute orphans of some happy children, have I satisfied eternal Justice by letting myself be hanged, or by entrusting my secret to one who is obliged to guard it for me, or by giving alms to priests who are least in need of them, or by buying indulgences and lamenting night and day? What of the widow and the orphans? My conscience tells me that I should try to take the place of him whom I killed, that I should dedicate my whole life to the welfare of the family whose misfortunes I caused. But even so, who can replace the love of a husband and a father?’”*
This is not as unorthodox as it may seem at the outset. The Roman Catholic Church itself teaches that while confession leads to absolution, it is penance that satisfies divine justice. Thus, what Don Rafael proposes after his hypothetical murder is that he must undergo penance, albeit in a manner different from what a priest might usually prescribe.
Forgiveness, then, results only in the cessation of hostilities, the repudiation of acrimony, and the restoration of peace between the wrongdoer and the wronged. It does not exempt the offender from responsibility for his or her actions. Rather, forgiveness opens up a space within which the true penitent, liberated from the anger, hate, and bitterness of those who have been wounded, is obligated to mitigate, if not undo, the harm caused, and to ensure, as much as possible, that he or she will no longer inflict harm in any way, shape, or form. Penance, in Catholic theology, functions both as an act of reparation, and as an act of preservation—it is supposed to help prevent the further commission of sins.
Nor does forgiveness excuse the victim from vigilance. Although conventional (un-)wisdom has always posited that forgiving should be followed by forgetting, granting forgiveness does not—should not—mean that one automatically forfeits the right to require meaningful change, when it has yet to take place, or the right to demand justice, when it has yet to be served.
Letting go and moving on from an instance of abuse without a sustained call for restitution or reform is to tread down the path of self-destruction. This kind of uncritical, empty-headed forgiveness rewards the transgressor for his or her evil deeds—in the absence of consequences, he or she can be expected to commit exponentially worse acts. Consider, for instance, how far our ever hardworking and prayerful president has come: from breaking a promise not to run in the 2004 elections, all the way to the unconstitutional imposition of martial law against a monster that she herself created.
In her Christmas message, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo exhorted the country to “remember the lessons that we learned this year”. As we enter a new year, if there is one lesson that we must take with us from the annus horribilis that was 2009, it is this: to forgive is not to forget—not when there is still so much that the current regime has left unaddressed, not when there are still so many wrongs that it has left unredressed.
*This quotation is taken from the Charles Derbyshire translation of Noli Me Tangere, which is entitled The Social Cancer.
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You are right (except for five sentences). Happy 2010 GMA Talsik Diyan!
I think forgiveness in a Christian sense is that one can forego the punishment or enactment of justice by the aggreived. I agree that this is not an encouragement although it could appear to the sinner. It is not tolerance to the sin, but for hope of salvation and conversion for the sinner.
I think GMA will be one of the hardest people to forgive. Even though she doesn’t show any signs of taking responsibility or remorse, I am open for forgiving someone such as her.
Question — is it easier to forgive if one does not know? For example, where is Jonas Burgos????
The problem is 50% of GMA’s sins is being attributed by most to her better-half, the husband Mike, and to the son. If we can forgive the 50%, are we ready to forgive the other half as well?
Forgiving becomes easier once our culture of impunity becomes a thing of the past.
Forgiveness is a Grace from God. Not from the Church, Priest or any
religious entity. You forgive the evil doer. You also forget what
she/he has done to you. Then, move on with your life. You cannot go thru life by carrying baggages of: hate, grievances and unforgiveness.
As St. Paul’s Epistle states:” Love does not take into account a wrong
suffered”.
It is now 2010. A New Year. A New Day. Let us all forgive, forget and
move on with our lives!
On Forgiveness, not Forgetness
Let us put into, Layman’s Terms. Forgive and Forget, is a common saying between two individual. Admiration can be such an act, while feeling deep emotion for each others wrong doing, is granted. We are human being, we also do have displeasure towards a certain person, when he/she does us wrong. By doing us wrong, our deep sense of feeling always reminds us that this certain individual can easily be forgiven. But to forget, I don’t think so. This should be always be a constant reminder. Piti the fool, who done you wrong…!
If you dont forget. Your mind will be carrying the same hate,
grievances and hard feelings. It is better for you to LET GO. Then,
MOVE ON. Charge it to experience.
On a personal issue(s). I do to try my best to settle the score on the very same day. So before I go to bed, I have no worries to think about. But, on a “politically point of view”, those issue(s) that was presented to us, and if there is any, broken promises. These I cannot forget.
You make this sound so easy. It is not! I mean, especially if she is now 7 months pregnant and her husband in Saudi Arabia does not know. So what to do isn’t easy, is it? Not all guys can behave like a priest and ask the bishop for a re-assignment.
It is really hard. But, you have a life to live. The wife is pregnant.
While the husband is in Saudi Arabia. What will you do? Kill the
wife? Find the man who made her pregnant and kill him?
The best thing is separate from her. Live your life again. Perhaps,
he will find good love in another wife. If there is no reconciliation.
people forget. we forget…..then we bring it up after a few years or a few decades has past.
Being still engaged in the depths of “Atlas Shrugged”, to wit John Galt’s 20 page rant, I would offer up that forgiveness is as useless as guilt in a society of reason. If someone makes an innocent mistake on the job, “no problem”, it is one of the human lessons. Make a second mistake just like the third, and one should start questioning competence and think about the action of replacing this person. If someone’s mistakes are not of the innocent variety, one should see the fact of this, and do something about it.
No where is forgiveness required. Or guilt.
Joe
erratum: “second mistake just like the first”. Old brain jigged a synapse.
No! No! No! Forgiveness will not be necessary if the guilty are found guilty and punished for their transgressions. I mean, all the Ampatuans — grandfather to grandsons, and their wives, cousins, uncles. Surely they should all be hanged, right???
Statistically, the only way to do this — where all the guilty are judged guilty and therefore punished — is the “where there is smoke, there is fire” rule. In other words, any and all accused must be found guilty.
This will result in mistakes — there will be more innocents that will be found guilty. [Like Benigno Aquino. Benigno Aquino has got to be guilty of something, else why did he go to USA as exile?]
That is not that huge a price to pay, is it?
UP n,
Your premise is that the courts will find the innocent guilty. In a reasonable society, they would not be found guilty. In the Philippines, they might.
Or vice versa.
Joe
Just my two cents:
I believe that a person should only be forgiven if they have shown genuine, heartfelt remorse for their crimes. If this criteria is not met, I don’t see the point of forgiving them.
I know the hardness of the human heart. We dont go thru life without
hurting people. Or being hurt by people. That is the reason we pray:
“Forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against
us”. To corrode your heart with: hate, grievances and hard feelings. Will work against you. These hard feelings will manifest themselves as psychosomatic, psychological and psychiatric illness. Heart deseases, heart attacks, depression, anxieties, etc…
Hyden, I have had the misfortune of having a close relative being kidnapped two years ago. We endured that whole ordeal, and thankfully that relative was released relatively unharmed.
As for the SOBs who nabbed him? They were arrested briefly by the police, and he was supposed to be standing trial a few months ago on kidnapped charges filed by ANOTHER guy who was kidnapped before my relative.
He walked off on a technicality, the puke is still very much at large, and he might attack my family again.
He hasn’t shown any remorse for his actions or the misery he has caused his victims. As far as I can tell, like a rabid dog, he should not be rehabilitated or reasoned with – he should be put down.
It seems well-documented those issues that point to the involvement of Malacanang in big time corruption activities and many critics did not fail to name them over and over again.
For instance, the Bolante fertilizer scam et cetera et cetera.
It is not as if GMA has been forgiven. Problem is, it looks like the brakes just cannot be applied when it is the president herself or her subalterns that are into these scams themselves.
The Maguindanao massacre is classic example on how the powers-that-be can circumvent the law itself.
Sorry for such occurance. I understand your position. That is a
different case.