That thing about the breast implant, that’s already foul. That’s a bit too much already. – Sen. Loren Legarda
I agree with the good Senator Legarda. It’s not the public’s business whether or not Gloria Arroyo underwent breast augmentation 20 years ago. The only operation allowed public discourse is the augmentation Dr. Garci performed in 2004.
Anyway, I support the right of any adult—male, female, and every sex in between—to enhance his appearance by whatever means necessary. Now, let’s move on.
Allow me to share with you the contents of a CD delivered to my house by an anonymous person. The CD contains phone conversations between a woman and her boob.
Below is the transcript of that conversation:
“Hello Cerge? I just read a news item that said I checked into Asian Hospital for mammoplastic repair of leaking breast implants done in the ’80s, have you read it yet?”
“Yes, ma’am. I took care of it already.”
“Ahm… good. What did you tell the press?”
“Ma’am? I told them, res ipsa loquitur. Just look if the President had a breast implant. It’s obvious if women have breast implants. The sexy actresses with big boobs, they’re the ones who have breast implants. We can’t say the same thing of the President.”
“You told them res ipsa loquitor?”
“Yes ma’am, I said the things speak for themselves. It’s obvious you don’t have implants.”
“Ahm…”
“I also said, si Presidente ba mukha na iyong tipo ng babae na magpapaganun (Is the President the type of woman who would do that [get a boob job])?”
“You told them what!?!”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Why, what type of woman gets a boob job?”
“Pardon?”
“I asked you what you thought of a woman with a boob job!“
“Ma’am? You want me to spell it out for you?”
“Yes, spell it out! I got implants twenty years ago and I want to know what type of woman you think I am!”
Silence.
“Hello…hello…haller…Cerge, are you still there?”
“Yes ma’am, I’m still here. Sori poh…”
“Forget it. Let’s move on. What do I tell the press when they ask me about my side-trip to Cartagena ?”
“I took care of that already, ma’am.”
“You took care of it already, again?”
“Yes, poh. While we were still in South America I told the press it’s not actually a side-trip, it’s more like a stopover. Brazil is so far away non-stop flight was not possible so we stopped-over in Cartegena and spent the weekend there.”
“Don’t you realize people can figure out the range of our chartered Airbus?”
“Ma’am?”
“Why didn’t you just tell them I was not expected in Brazil until Monday so I dropped in on the Filipino community in Cartagena ?”
“Poh?”
“Yes, I know.”
“Ma’am, the people might wonder why we didn’t just spend the weekend in San Franciso, to touch base with the larger Filipino community there.”
“Why didn’t we do that?”
“Ma’am? Some people in your party expressed apprehension about the welcome awaiting them if they enter the US .”
“Uhm…I forgot about that. Ask Ambassador Willy to check on that. Anyway, did the press ask you about our flight from Rio to Hong Kong ?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Good. But if they do, don’t claim the flight from Rio to Hong Kong is shorter than the flight from San Francisco to Recife so we were able to fly non-stop.”
“No. ma’am, I won’t say that. If they ask, I’ll just tell them we re-fuelled in mid-air.”
“How did you explain our stop-over in Hong Kong ?”
“I told them you were tired and in need of a pause that refreshes.”
“A pause that refreshes? That’s an old Coke slogan. What does Coke have to do with my stop-over in Hongkong?”
“Kasi poh you met with Robert Kuok of Shangri-la and Tony Kwok the anti-corruption consultant…(giggles)”
“Huh?”
“You paused for two koks, get it?”
“Aaargh…somebody, anybody, please, just shoot me.”
“Ma’am? Hello…hello?”
Popularity: 1% [?]
Breast Implants mixed with politics are good political dishes that
Filipinos will enjoy. Well, Sen. Loren Legarda. You can take a cue from the Madame President. You will never win the Presidency without good Breast Implants. It is a neccesity, not a vanity. The Sex Starved Filipino voters shall demand it.
As per the photo. It seems, they were taken before the Breast Implants. Perhaps, the Madame President looked into her old Photo
Albums. Took one with swim suite looking like Angelina Jolie. Gave
it to Cerge Remonde for a good Press Release.
Pinutakte ng mga Bloggers ang Breast Implants niya. What a people
we have. Ah Filipinos!
Classless. Thoughtless. Dullness.
What are you thinking?
RealityCheck,
Thank you for saving on cyberspace. You were able to capture the essence of Remonde in three words. I had to write 700 words to put his character across.
Sandy Araneta’s report in page 6 and Jarius Bondoc’s column in page 11, respectively in Philippine Star issue today may shed light on this ‘unhealthy’ topic.
Good thing to know that GMA is in ‘the pink of health’. Anything pink reminds me though of BF whom FVR calls too the pink panther.
Well, I guess, manuel wants to be known as the master satirist – some like his works, some don’t.
If I remember right, the first person to ‘lie’ about this is health secretary Duque who said GMA went into a self-quarantine voluntarily after coming from abroad although he did not advise this as a necessity for the president to quarantine.
Maybe, the media bureau of Malacanang has behaved like billiard balls – each one tossed by another – to say this or that and this reflects some utter lack of competence to defend the president’s privacy when it is so desired.
For sure, there are better qualified PR people to handle the work but who would surely resign right away when GMA expressed any bit of tantrum.
GMA would not be as unpopular if she had better spokesmen. And she needs to gag cabinet members who don’t work in the Palace press office.
you sound like a frustrated wannabee. what happened? you applied and got rejected? i wonder why!
Bencard,
I’m not surprised that you’re impressed by Remonde. I’m sure you think he and the rest of the Palace mouthpieces are doing a great job.
By the way I have a reply for your previous comment but it’s awaiting moderation so I will repeat it here.
“Next time, use one word instead of five when one will suffice. Use “sh*t” or “cr*p” instead of “another trash of anal origin”. That way you save on cyberspace. Comprendes licenciado?
where did i ever say that i’m impressed by them? anyway, what has that got to do with the price of rice?
btw, i’m sure nick and the collective would not mind 3 additional words in cyberspace, for the sake of civility. remember that i’m not writing for the “business mirror” for pay, and you are not my editor.
oops, guess i spoke too soon. i didn’t notice someone deleted my previous entry with something about “trash of anal origin”. i wonder what is censurable about that. it seems to me that the powers-that-be in this blog are becoming a little too trigger-happy removing opinion entries at whim for no apparently good reason.
Bencard,
I join you in protesting the presence of censors in this blog.
To tell it like it is, each time I hear that Cerge, I would psyche that possibly, he can be classified as ‘under-educated’. Clearly, he hasn’t even overcome some rather ‘ethnic accent’ and his Tagalog is rather ‘unwashed’.
My best model for public information work for that matter is the late BGen. Oscar Florendo – if we go by some ‘academic’ criteria.
Yes, Prime, you are certainly correct about the late Gen. Florendo.
T’was really tragic that he died the way he did.
The country lost a good man.