Dispatches from the Enchanted Kingdom
A senator’s swine song
You can’t bake your cake and bake mine, too.—Melanie Marquez
A friend and I were listening to the Senate hearing on Sen. Jamby Madrigal’s ethics complaint against Sen. Manny Villar.
Sen. Nene Pimentel Jr. was conjuring up legal obstacles against the presentation of charges against Villar.
“Great dilatory tactics,” my friend said.
I don’t revere tomfoolery like my friend does, so I changed the topic and asked him, “Nene is making dilat, how?”
“Idiot! Dilatory means delaying tactics, it does not mean opening your eyes wide,” he said.
I went for Nene’s eyes anyway.
“Have you seen his eye bags? They’re so big, airlines charge him for excess baggage.”
“Dilatory means delaying tactics!” he repeated.
“They’re so big they don’t fit in the overhead rack.”
“That’s enough!” he bellowed.
“He has to lie on the conveyor belts of baggage x-ray machines whenever he goes to the airport.”
“Get serious, please!” he pleaded.
“How can I when Villar and his crew are behaving like those clowns in Malacañang?” I replied.
“They’re not clowning around! They’re standing up for due process and fair play!” he said.
“You mean like when Sen. Alan Cayetano called the ethics investigation against Villar ‘a political rubout and a political ambush’?” I asked.
“Yes!” he said.
“Yes? Cayetano just rehashed an old Palace line—‘inquiries in aid of election’—to discredit a complainant instead of addressing the complaint. It’s a cheap trick. Besides, Villar provided the ammunition for the ambush/rub-out,” I said.
“That’s not fair, you’re prejudging Villar,” he said.
“Villar pushed a taxpayer-funded road project that benefited his real-estate business. That’s a violation of Article VI, Sections 12 and 14 of the Constitution, and the Code of Conduct and Ethical Standards of Public Officials and Employees. What’s his excuse?” I asked.
My friend said Villar claimed, “I just don’t know what these properties are.” He said Villar insisted he didn’t have to disclose anything because disclosure was only required “if you have conflict of interest” and “in this case, there is no conflict of interest because it’s the people who will benefit here.”
“What is good for Villar is good for the people?” I asked. “I bet one of these days we will see Cayetano doing an impression of Mike Defensor’s explanation of Gloria Arroyo’s voice in the Garci tapes—“It [the road realignment] was his choice [Villar’s] but he was not the one doing the taking.”
“If Madrigal has evidence she should take Villar to court,” my friend said.
I replied, “That’s another Palace dodge—‘File it in the proper forum’. Buddy, the Senate blue-ribbon panel is the proper forum for an ethics complaint by a senator against another senator. Why does Villar want the complaint to become sub judice when he can debunk it and clear his name in a Senate hearing, where the full story will be aired in full view of the public?”
“He defended himself in a press conference,” my friend replied.
“Yes, he presented his half of the story in full view of the public. That’s another one from the Malacañang playbook: ‘Choose a forum where the complainant is not around so you can cherry-pick his allegations and debunk them before friendly reporters’. Anyway, what did he say to the friendlies?” I asked.
He replied, “Villar denied any wrongdoing and said, ‘Pustahan tayo guilty ako dito [I bet the committee will find me guilty]. They can suspend, expel me, or whatever. I am prepared for that’.”
“Sounds more like he’s preparing the public for that,” I said.
“Do you think he will preempt the investigation by resigning from the Senate?”
“Sen. Kiko Pangilinan announced he would run for vice president,” I said.
“Manny and Kiko?” he asked.
I replied, “There’s no doubt Sharon Cuneta, Kiko’s wife, will be a great deodorant for Villar. The only question is whether she will come as a roll-on or a spray.”
Popularity: 1% [?]
Mahirap na roll-on si Sharon dahil mabigat. Spray na lang dahil squeezable naman siya.
“‘Pustahan tayo guilty ako dito.”
And that, my friends, was how Manny Villar convicted himself!
bert:
lol.
mb:
sharon as tawas granules, ‘my bagong discovery’.
Amor propio, if allowed to rule oneself, takes you to either way – talo o panalo. In this case, pikon ay talo. Signs indicate – natalo na, napikon lalo.
Legarda was incensed so are the FlipPinos. This is on top of Chip Tsao’s “Filipinos are servants”.
Terri Hatcher’s “Can I check those diplomas ‘coz I just want to make sure that they’re not from some med school in the Philippines.”
Society columnists’ OFWs acrid fake perfumes.
Oxford Dictionary missed meaning of Filipinas.
Now, you can order Filipino bride on-line. If it Alec Baldwin knew about it, so does the Hollywood community. Must be a brisk business. Good for the economy.
Here’s a typical mail-order wanted ad:
Wanted pretty petite Filipina for marriage. Willing to live in Colorado. No balikbayan boxes. No petition to parents and siblings. Reply to ____@yahoo.com
Have y’all seen Rex Navarrette’s “Maritess and the Superfriends”?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n46ETwVubkA
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! That was very funny!!!!!! HA!HA!HA!HA!
Nice. Now do one for the former President who spent his time in office drunk and now wants to run things again. And the former head of an official death squad who wants to run the whole country. And the mayor of pink concrete kickbacks. When the caricatures stop, who is left? Gordon and Roxas? Are there any straight-shooters on the list? Then step 2, how do you get the country to shame the shameless back into really small little cubbyholes?
Joe
Gordon’s the straightshooter.
He has excellent executive experience – with emphasis on his economic turnaround of Subic.
shame the shameless? flood youtube with satires about the inept, the corrupt, and the brainless :lol:
Ah, I didn’t know about Subic, but had rather concluded he is the most honorable of the lot. Seems to me that Filipinos have a chance to dump the goofballs and go with someone who represents the country well.
Joe
WANTED PRESIDENT FOR THE PHILIPPINES.
Must be Ivy-school graduate, foreign-educated. Speaks good english. Perfect spelling. Sober. Good charm. High IQ & EQ. Handsome or beautiful preferably fair-skin, narrow nose, long-neck, Hollywood skinny and sexy.
SALARY: Any amount you can get your hands on
WORK HOURS: Whenever, whatever, however
PERKS: Travel
CONTACT: Gullible, bigoted racist People of the Philippines
HURRY! 2010 is fast approaching!
Villar’s goose is definitely cooked.
Our Politicians are the greatest Comedians in our Political Show
Business. They can overshadow even our veteran Show Bussines Comedians. I think, they would be more successful. If they would
had followed careers in Show Business Comedy. Rather than being
Politicians. The trouble here is the Joke is upon us…